Public Service Announcement for Toddlers

Events of the past few days have inspired me to write the following PSA for Toddlers:


Dear Sweet Angel Child (Cole):

I fully realize that part of the childhood experience is to explore and discover new things. It is very important and will help you grow into a well-rounded, inquisitive genius-like adult. However, I feel it is important to let you know of a few basic rules.

1. Crayons are not made to be consumed by the human body. Yes, they are labeled as non-toxic, but just because it is called "Granny Smith Apple", the green crayon WILL NOT taste like one. The same rule also applies to crayons given with child menus at restaurants. Just because we are there to eat food and the crayons are on the table, you should not try to ingest them.
2. Same rule applies for napkins, your brother's toys and coins (remember the ER trip for the penny?).
3. Although it is fun and new to you, please do not take your diaper off and examine its contents. ESPECIALLY if it is poopy and your mother is doing something else at the time.
4. Screeching and screaming may sound funny to you and your big brother may even laugh, but it is not the only form of communication you possess. I know it's hard to learn words and even harder to get a word in edge-wise with your "vocal" older brother, but really, pointing and grunting will get the job done, too.
5. One last rule for today. Do not kiss animals in foreign countries. I don't specifically have experience with this, but your Aunt Sarah told me and it sounded like good information to know with two boys.

I hope you will remember these rules in the days and years to come. I'm sure as you get older, there will be countless other "guidelines" to follow, but that is all for today. Oh, I forgot one more. I REALLY don't like objects thrown in the house...especially in the direction of breakable objects (my glass collection or pictures hanging on the wall). AHEM...Chris and Caleb, this applies to you, too.

Your loving mother

So, crayons are made in China, but they are lead-free, right???