Open letter

Dear Magazine-Peddling Teenager:

Thank you for visiting my house yesterday. Although you were only slightly obnoxious, your sales pitch made me think of a few things. I must be fair - you really didn't have a chance with me. I rarely have time to sit down and read magazines and really didn't want to pay for a subscription that (a) I might never get and (b) is rediculously over-priced. Really...I have two small children and Christmas is next week. Why in the world do you think I would shell out the seventy bucks for SHAPE magazine so you can go on a trip to Rome when I can barely afford to drive across Houston sometimes? Do you know how much gas costs these days? Oh, you were home-schooled and therefore deprived of a "normal" childhood and never got to go on a Senior Trip? I'm sorry...nah...not really. I only went to San Antonio on my Senior Trip and turned out okay. You really tried, though, calling me a "stay-at-home Goddess" and trying to make me feel better by saying I could donate my magazine subscription to a local children's hospital. Pretty slick. Honey, I've been married almost 8 years now...I know when I'm being buttered up for something. Good luck to you. I hope you can find a good job and save some money for that great trip to Rome one day.

Sincerely,
The "Stay-At-Home Goddess"

PS - I might have been more open to listening to you if you didn't smell like pot.